One of the things I've found confusingly easy in my life was to move on. You would expect it to be hard, and in a way it looks like it is, but over time you get better at it –and perhaps that is what happened to me.
Starting with the base that you suck at moving on, you would think that your partner for a reasonable amount of time leaving you is the end of it. That your life is pointless, and that you can't do nothing but wait until it "goes away". And in a way, that is true. In another way though, you are entitled to claim your life's driver-seat and just make the turn you want, at any time, to go wherever you want to.
There's a quote I find funny that goes:
I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can just fly anywhere in the world. Then I ask myself the same question.
And in a weird way, you probably started off as –or still are– that bird. You can go anywhere, yet you stay where you know it's safe. When winter comes, you will move to a different place for some time, and then come back. That place might not even be a different physical location but instead just a change in your attitude or habits.
Back on topic, any of those changes push you towards getting comfortable with moving on, and learning to do it efficiently let's you disrupt that pattern –mind my saying, it might take a while before you can do it at will.
In my particular case I've gone to several schools and had one traumatizing move when I was 10. I had to let go of all my friends, all the things I endeared the most. Yet it was one of the best things to happen to me.
It was during that year in that little town in the middle of nowhere that I learned to play guitar and that you could use computers to DO stuff. I wanted to make video games. I became passionate about programming. That changed me forever. I didn't know it by then, but that risk my parents took when they chose to move on –there's a pun there somewhere– drastically shaped the course of my life.
And over the years I became more and more comfortable with it, I.e., I started to be ok pretty soon after a break up, regardless of how dramatic it was. It became easier and easier to learn things I liked, because if I failed it didn't matter, I would just move on and keep learning. Eventually, once I was able to calculate bigger risks, it was fun. It was addictive. It kept ringing in my head. I couldn't stop moving on.
Now it wouldn't be fair to say that what I'm doing is the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do in my case. In many others it might not. Life is just so arbitrary sometimes...
...in your case you might be struggling with a bad decision you chose to go along with, or you might have this hidden passion that nobody knows about. Maybe people know about your passion but privately think it's too crazy to pursue it –or perhaps they openly voice so.
Perhaps you're just happy the way life is right now and that's ok too.
In any case, if you feel like doing something new I'd recommend you to put all what's at stake on a balance and see what you can do with it. If anything, calculate the risks first. If you can do what you love where you are and at a low risk, then it might just be a good idea to try it out just to see what happens.
If you need to go somewhere else to do it, at the very least I can promise you
will have a story to tell when you come back. Ask yourself why do you do what
you are doing and why is it so important to keep doing it. Would you still be
doing it if something else happened? What would that something be? And most
importantly, can you make that something happen?
Look at Bilbo, by the end he had quite a story to tell.
I'm on my way to Europe for the second time, and this time it's for good. Got
enough cash to cover a good living for a good couple months, and I got an
amazing job at
This time around, as I'm ready to welcome bone-deep chills of eternal winter, I'm headed towards Denmark. It's a headlong flight, but how can I regret it? I'm going on an adventure. What are you going to do this year? That's up to you.
Trying to put this down in words is harder than it looks like, but I guess that what I'm saying is:
In the end, what is it all about but having a story to tell?